When I was very young, well probably in my early teens, I remember realizing what a women had to go through at the end of pregnancy. I remember thinking “I’ll never have children!!!!”. The pain scared me to no end! I thought how I wasn’t going to get married for a little while, so I didn’t have to worry yet.
So here I was 23, marring my best friend and the thought hit me.. OMGOSH.. I might get pregnant! That means I’ll have to HAVE a baby! The thought seriously struck fear into me.
You see, I don’t like the unknown. I have always hated not knowing what to expect, what did the pain feel like? What did pregnancy feel like? Pushing the baby out?? OUCH!
And honestly, you REALLY can’t explain it much unless you’ve been through it, then you understand.
I soon forgot the “dreaded pregnancy” until I learned that I was indeed pregnant with my little Jeremiah. Oh sure, I had joy, lots of it! I mean read about how I found out I was pregnant with him here. But inside I knew.. 9 months time and I would have to HAVE this baby.. (aaaaaaaaaaaa) And C-section was NOT an option.. being cut? Oh I would rather HAVE the baby. I honestly feared it all.
SO what did I do with this fear of the unknown?
Immersed myself in ALL things about birthing a baby.
- YouTube videos
You get the idea. I found some great info. But really it wasn’t until I ran across “Laugh and Learn About Childbirth” that I really started to get it. For some reason I felt more confident after having watched that over and over and over.
I remember asking my husband to watch it with me a bunch of times.. I even asked my mom to watch it with me.. Ya, it was on my favorite DVD list that year.
It explained lingo, explained the whole process, and what to expect in the hospital. Stuff I had read already, but some how delivered better.
After having everyone watch it tons of times with me, we were all ready!
The day came.
The most dreaded day in my entire life.
Yet I felt confident. I had my two best friends with me, my mom and my husband.
On the way, a 30 min drive, my contractions weren’t all that bad. I could even sing in between them.
I remember the song too “Surrender” by Jeremy Camp.
(Oh ya, and I knew I was getting an IV in the hospital. ANOTHER BIG fear of mine, I HATE needles, of course after having like 15 shots within 10 mins when joined the military, it was not as big a fear as it used to be.)
Got hooked up to the IV, and was ready to go.
It was pretty bad. Back to back contractions, with hardly a break. I remember asking the Lord for a break, and He actually gave me 5 mins right after that. He is sweet.
It was back labor, I learned later. I had not gotten an epidural until I had to have forceps. I tried to push him out for 2 hours, and the doctor did not tell me he was sunny side up the stinker! I found out later there was natural ways to get the baby to turn.
Forceps and an epi were on the order. Within mins, I was holding my precious boy. I didn’t know WHAT was in store for me from that day on, but I relished the moment of holding my sweet boy.
- I learned in that experience, to control my breathing. (LIFE savor!)
- I learned to not FEAR the birthing experience, because it IS natural. Really KNOWING that is helpful for me.
- I gained more confidence for the next birth, which was a cake walk in comparison! Because now I understand the process.
I am glad I don’t have to DREAD pregnancy anymore. talk about a big fear of mine!
To those who haven’t yet had a baby, it IS very natural to be afraid, but remember it is VERY natural to go through it. Many women have babies. 🙂 And if you are afraid like I was, dive into educating yourself about birth. It really helps.
I REALLY recommend Laugh and Learn About Childbirth, it’s got great info.